getting out is tricky

you've gotta' read between the lines.....

oftentimes, you get paranoid with the world that you end up so doubtful… caught up in your own little concerns and you forget about things that might be a little helpful to your own little life.

But today I broke away from that bondage, I boldly went out and skip the many what if’s in me. And it turned out to be a real nice start of a whole new ball game to me.

There are still a lot to see and a lot to realize… I am hopeful that everything's will be fine.

My ending to the li’l speech I did was “after all the world isn’t that harsh as I assumed.”

a memory of me

I hate Sundays! Deng this is the day where I am in touch of me, but this is also the day that just let me slip unto somebody else which is not me. Little by little I find myself being consumed by this feeling of emptiness. I am pretty much aware where this emptiness is coming from but this is something that I can’t do about right now. I need to be more patient and tolerant of all the things that are passing me by. Everything is in process now but I am just too grumpy to even wait. Yeah, that’s me now, uh uh. And I am becoming less of a person that I am. My hubby had complained once already… I am too crabby, I easily get annoyed and I am not that person. I used to be a happy, light hearted person with a sunny disposition. Now I am becoming somebody which is vaguely familiar to me neither to my family. Goodness! I need to redirect myself and get all the better of me before I become somebody who’d everyone would be terrified to be spending their entire life with me. I wish i could be just like this pc. Where you could press F5 so i could refresh me. Nor click on the recycle bin and flush all the bad things I've save in me. Arggghh, i wish i wish the wish i wish i wish....

i'm hoping so, at least :(

I am in pain, this excruciating pain had not been away for quite a while.

Goodness! How many more days like this would possibly be standing by me.
This pain had been making me head to a geeland of oh please.
I think God had been up pushing me again to my wits end,
so much so that I may become a better person.
Flanax forte ( free advertising tehihihi) had been a staple medicine to ease my pain.
I do hope I’ll feel better soon as it’s draining my energy to do much around.

Argh.... i'm sick and sick i am!

"felix culpa"

"felix culpa" or fortunate error:
i am contemplating much about what I had become as a person and i came to terms with the errors i made in my life. It may seemed so unbearable to most people but for me it had become a fortunate error as it had made me a better person and a happier one at that :). Many had been said and done and i am standing tall, still optimistic with life. Broken yet hopeful. Wrecked yet buoyant to life's bedlam. As i listened to the priest homily today i can't help my tears trickle down. Don't get me wrong it was not because i am too repentant of my errors but because i feel that I am too fortunate to have my family. God had blessed me with smart kids, understanding and caring and a husband who's supportive, funny and with an overflowing love to give. I cried because last sunday he was beside me hearing mass now we are half world apart :(. But then again, this is life so we must live with it.

On different note

we are back to where we were before...
chatting, pc calls, webcams, texting
but on different note... we are on to
the next level... we just hope it won't
take us too long to wait.
he just arrived to work.
it's his second day today.
he overslept last monday.
was too sleepy after his first day.
so he just hit the sack and dreamed on.
he is at the other end of this laptop
i know but is too busy to exchange word
with me so i better snooze off.
gtg...

Left for the states

i've been offline for so long...
now am back with broken
tear duct, i can't seem to stop
my tears from falling
I miss my bebeh who is now
literally up there in the clouds
travelling back to work.
Dang! I miss him much.
T'is the life we had for now
We chose to be this way for
a greater reason... a future
we intend to keep.
I stand to what we want
I hope for what we hope.
Love you babe and
I miss you so much!!!