Monday, January 29, 2007

"Balance a perfectionist ideal"

I let go of the word balance in my life today! I burnt it together with the dried leaves and twigs I swept this afternoon in the side lawn. Deng! I was caught off guard by my anger again as I am trying so hard to balance my role as the mother, father, driver, nanny, tutor of my 4 year old girl. But oftentimes, she gets into me so hard that I am eaten alive. Now, I know that balance indeed doesn't exist in actual life. One way or the other you'll fall short in a role or two. Thus, today I will let things settle as they are so I may be able to go through life just like everybody else. Hah! crazy me, i should have done this long ago! Then again it's never too late to start....

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Nonsensical me but that's just me

My spirit finds lushness in it's absurdity, i get to appreciate the beauty of life in my most ludicrous moments. It is on those times that I get to stop and renew my ties with myself. Then, by so doing I begin to appreciate everything that I have in my life.
Oftentimes when I grumble and start to complain it is during that time that I get in touch with the silly me. Dang! it easily pushes me to become a better person. It lets me get a peek of the different side of me. Ha ha ha... i am not sure if I am getting my message across. Well its as simple as "when my soul hungers for love, attention and acceptance my less rational side outposts and shields me from harm." So when i am to hard to understand and too fickle minded to anything... smile as I am in the process of becoming a better me. Heheheheh...

Saturday, January 20, 2007


a word that sure caught my attention. Not because I haven't encountered it nor I doubted that there is such this word but because of its meaning. "Individuation is a term for the lifelong process of becoming an individual" Of course, there's nothing fussy about it as we indeed all go through a certain course of discovery for the individual that we are but when it is associated to marriage i was taken aback... paused and mulled over. As I was made to believe that marriage is a union of two souls ...a union that binds two souls into one. If so, what is individuation doing in marriage? why would we let our individuality come between our married life? Where does submission lies now in marriage? Isn't it allowing your selves to go through the individuation process already jeopardizes your union? I am still now able to comprehend much of how this individuation would walk me through to my chosen life. One thing for sure is that, it would make me on guard to more possibilities there is.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Gen up!

exams are really here to stay.... jamie had just had her exams done today. it will until friday. but she seemed to careless about her studies. She'd rather play lego and barbie than sit still and review. To avoid conflict i let her be for now. But a little later we will sit down and get on to the review time... eeeekkkk.... i am such a freak!

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Weekend at Sun City

yes we drove all the way to laguna to dip ourselves to a hot spring. Traffic had been terrible. We were jammed for at least about four hours before we reached our destination. Yay! it was nice that we got a lot of food in the van so we let the time pass by gobbling food to our hearts content. When we finally arrived at our destination, the kids got real excited to dive in the pool. They were really savoring the seamless temperature of the pool unti they got really tanned by the blazing hot sun. But focusing on the good side of our trip. We sure had a hard rolling good time in Sun City...didn't we jamie? darryl?

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

messed like crazy

... i needed to run fast to the bank to preempt an imminent back charge. 'ew! i completely forgot that i issued this check. Good thing that the bank officer that handles my account called me up and informed me about it. So i ran fast like a scampering chicken to fund the check... thanks tita janet you are a savior! Now all's well and i didn't get that nutty bank penalty. Whoa!

Thursday, January 4, 2007

heheheh... reality check...

back to driving to and fro school. early morning wake up is a struggle. weather is still cold and inviting to spend more time in bed. But the truth is shouting real loud in my face... there's mor e life than sleeping. So this morning i woke up early and washed the car to make it look and smell squeaky clean. And it did! I am happy and I should be happy! Now i sound convinced that I am happy....

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

The second day of the New Year

.... is my mom-in-law's birthday so festivities is still very much present in the air. We still expect to get more food laid on the table for us to grapple with our fats and calories and appetite. After today, slow down on calorie intake should take place... yes and i stressed...should take place. Oh well i do hope it will take place...wwwaaahhhhh.... whatever. Weight check!?? oh forget it am still on the normal weight range... so i claim, teheheheh.

Monday, January 1, 2007

Another Year over....

just got home from teresa hgts... another year had been over. 2007 is a new set of intricate weaves to be unsewn for me to straighten out things that needs to be straighten. Though it might be intricate and intertwining things will sure get better as days will passby... finger crossed i am zooming to get on with life...